Puns and Needles: Acupuncture Humor


The following quotes featuring acupuncture humor were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians (Rest assured that at Acupuncture Associates, our notes are much more accurate!):

  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
  • The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  • The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
  • When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
  • Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  • The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
  • Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.


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