The following quotes featuring acupuncture humor were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians (Rest assured that at Acupuncture Associates, our notes are much more accurate!):
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.